LOVE PLAYS2
Note. More short plays about love.
Drill
Plank
Scream
At the Clinic
Aside
Gregory
He Keeps Dying
Blind
DRILL
ROBERT A ND MARY. LOUD SOUND OF PNEUMATIC DRILL. SHE IS LOOKING FOR SOMETHING, PATIENTLY. HE IS IMPATIENTLY PRETENDING TO LOOK. DRILL STOPS.
ROBERT: You can’t remember what he said?
MARY: I think I probably can. Anyway I wrote it down.
DRILL RESUMES. ROBERTS STANDS STILL IN DESPAIR, WRINGING HIS HANDS. MARY CONTINUES TO SEARCH. DRILL STOPS.
ROBERT: Well?
MARY: I’m trying to remember and/or to find.
DRILL RESUMES. ROBERT STRIDES UP AND DOWN. DRILL STOPS.
MARY: I think it was Howell Street, Number
DRILL RESUMES. ROBERT STANDS HELPLESS, IMPLORING HER SILENTLY. DRILL STOPS.
ROBERT: Yes?
PAUSE. SHE IS TRYING TO REMEMBER.
ROBERT: Come on.
MARY: Number
DRILL STARTS. ROBERT IS ABOUT TO SHOUT. DRILL STOPS.
MARY: Eleven A.
ROBERT: Are you sure?
MARY: Not completely.
ROBERT: Well that’s no good.
MARY: I reckon that’s what he said.
ROBERT: Let’s go then.
MARY: Definitely, yes.
ROBERT: If that’s what he said.
MARY: He did, definitely.
DRILL RESUMES. THEY BOTH STAND HOPELESSLY. DRILL STOPS.
ROBERT: I don’t want to leave till we’re sure.
MARY: No.
ROBERT: We haven’t seen him for six months.
MARY: I think maybe we should just wait.
DRILL RESUMES. ROBERT CLUTCHES HIS HEAD. DRILL STOPS. MARY IS SINGING.
MARY: Oh for the wings for the wings of a dove, far away far away
ROBERT: Please don’t sing!
MARY: Why not?
ROBERT: Please.
MARY: You prefer that noise?
ROBERT: I am just a bit anxious.
MARY: Well I thought perhaps if I sing
ROBERT: When we don’t know whether we should be coming or going?
MARY: I love it.
ROBERT: It sounds to me like carelessness.
MARY: More careless than that noise?
ROBERT: I can’t ask the noise to shut up.
DRILL RESUMES. MARY SPEAKS THROUGH IT, UNHEARD. DRILL STOPS.
MARY: Thankyou!
ROBERT: For what?
MARY: I asked the noise to stop and it stopped!
ROBERT: Could you ask it to stop full stop?
MARY: No I can’t ask it to do that.
ROBERT: Why not?
MARY: That would be asking too much!
DRILL RESUMES. ROBERT PICKS UP A BOOK AND PRETENDS TO READ, LEAFING THROUGH THE PAGES TOO FAST. MARY SEARCHES, IN SLOW MOTION. DRILL STOPS.
ROBERT: Have you had any luck?
MARY: No, none at all.
ROBERT: I mean looking for the note.
MARY: That’s what I mean.
ROBERT: But you are still trying?
DRILL RESUMES. THEY BOTH CRAWL AROUND ON THE FLOOR. DRILL STOPS, REPLACED BY LOUD TRUMPET. THEY SHOUT OVER THE TRUMPET, PERHAPS INAUDIBLE.
MARY: That’s better!
ROBERT: No it’s not!
MARY: Listen –
ROBERT: What?
MARY: I haven’t remembered, and I can’t find the note, I think we should
just –
SILENCE.
ROBERT: I think we should just forget him! Abandon ship!
SHOCKED PAUSE.
MARY: Forget him!
ROBERT: Yes! This is impossible!
MARY: How could we possibly forget him?
ROBERT: I mean just for today!
MARY: Might as well forget him forever!
ROBERT: No I mean just till it’s quiet!
MARY: It is quiet.
ROBERT: You call this quiet? When it could start again any moment.
PAUSE, LISTENING WITH EVERY BLOODCELL.
MARY: Yes I do call it quiet.
PAUSE.
MARY: So far so good. If it carries on much longer I’m sure I’ll remember.
PAUSE.
ROBERT: It’s carried on for quite a long time. Have you given up looking n ow?
MARY: Yes I’m concentrating on trying to remember.
ROBERT: I’m fine if it’s quiet.
MARY REALISES SHE WILL NOT REMEMBER.
MARY: No. I’m not going to remember.
ROBERT: You will, I reckon.
MARY: No. (SINGS.) Oh for the wings for the wings of a dove, far away far away far away far away would I roam. Oh for the wings
DRILL RESUMES. SHE CARRIES ON SINGING. ROBERT CRAWLS AROUND ON THE FLOOR, LOOKING. TRUMPET JOINS IN WITH DRILL, RISING, RISING
PLANK
A PLANK. ENTER TONY, FALLING ONTO THE PLANK. HE WOBBLES ALONG THE PLANK TO THE OTHER END, HOLDS OUT HIS HAND.
TONY: Hey! Hey! Reach out your hand!
ENTER JUNE, ‘FALLING’ – (WITH UMBRELLA?) TAKES HOLD OF HIS HAND AND GETS ONTO THE PLANK.
JUNE: Thanks!
THEY STAND ON THE PLANK.
JUNE: Woh! Amazing! A plank!
TONY: Yeah! Amazing!
PAUSE.
TONY: How long you been falling?
JUNE: Weeks! Amazing what you find!
TONY: Oh yeah.
JUNE: One day apple tree. Sat on a branch eating. Thought why leave but then I did leave.
TONY: Why not?
JUNE: Yeah!
TONY: House. Children. Jumping in and out. Lost, one of them. Didn’t seem to mind!
JUNE: Easy go!
TONY: Yes!
JUNE: Flowers dying. A bit sad.
TONY: Earth shakes off the roots.
JUNE: Problem. But.
TONY: Tins and things.
JUNE: Must be some ground.
TONY: How fast we falling?
JUNE: Forgotten.
TONY: Will we smash into it or just
JUNE: Float down.
TONY: Smash I think.
JUNE: Yes!
TONY: Huge heap of smashed stuff!
JUNE: Houses, trees, trains!
TONY: Miles high!
JUNE: Us on top!
TONY: Smashed!
JUNE: Or masses of stuff on top of us!
TONY: Get things onto this plank, make it nice.
JUNE: Whatever we want!
TONY: Sofa! (SEEING ONE.)
JUNE: Cold at night.
TONY: Bed.
JUNE: Beds.
TONY: Parachute.
JUNE: Haha!
TONY: Great big fuckoff massive parachute!
JUNE: Haha!
TONY: Keep yer eye out!
JUNE: Haha!
PAUSE.
TONY: Might land in water.
JUNE: Splash!
TONY: Get lifejackets.
JUNE: ‘Keep yer eye out!’
TONY: Pair of oars.
PAUSE.
JUNE: Splash.
TONY: Hope he found somewhere nice. Child.
JUNE: Bound to.
TONY: Found someTHING.
JUNE: Millions of stuff! Millions!
TONY: Look! Bed!
JUNE: Don’t like it.
TONY: Grab it easy.
JUNE: Don’t like it. Leave it.
TONY: Gone.
JUNE: How long you on this plank?
TONY: Just now.
JUNE: Quite miss falling.
TONY: We are falling.
JUNE: Mean not on plank. Like child.
TONY: Oh yes but. Get stuff.
JUNE: Might get off a bit.
TONY: Me too.
JUNE: See you.
TONY: Wait.
JUNE: Play game. You close eyes, I get off, you catch me.
TONY: Ok.
JUNE: Eyes closed?
TONY: Yes.
JUNE: Count six.
SHE RUNS OFF.
TONY: Six! Hey! Gone! Hey! (TO HIMSELF.) Jump off. Might find. Goodbye, plank, goodbye!
EXIT THE OTHER WAY FROM JUNE.
SCREAM
MARY, PAULINE (nurse.)
PAULINE: You can speak to him yes but the times are getting shorter I’m afraid.
MARY: How?
PAULINE: Down to two minutes or less.
MARY: God!
PAULINE: Yes.
MARY: Each time less and I really thought the opposite.
PAULINE: You hoped the times would get longer each time.
MARY: After each time I spoke yes I thought it had done some good.
PAULINE: Sadly it makes no difference what we think.
MARY: I mean he seemed so to appreciate
PAULINE: Of course and I’m sure he did. You must not blame yourself.
MARY: I don’t. I don’t know what to blame. There really is nothing.
PAULINE: It’s so wonderful that you keep coming.
MARY: I would even just for one minute.
PAULINE: I’m afraid it will get to that.
MARY: And then what?
PAULINE:
MARY: You are sure it’s not my effect?
PAULINE: Not completely sure now but I would be incredibly surprised.
MARY: So would I.
PAULINE: We’re very sure that contact
MARY: But it’s not!
PAULINE: Something else.
MARY: What? For God’s sake, what?
PAULINE:
MARY: You have absolutely no idea? Nobody then. In this entire building.
PAULINE: Not at the moment.
MARY: Alright is it nearly time?
PAULINE: Very nearly yes.
MARY: He always stops
PAULINE: Always stops at this same time yes. But starts again sooner each time.
MARY: And in between times. That is, most of the time –
PAULINE: Just the same I’m afraid.
MARY: Just screaming.
PAULINE: Yes I’m afraid. Yes one continuous scream.
MARY: Nothing you can detect – within the screaming – different kinds of screams – or variation – is there nothing –
PAULINE: Not detectable. No just the steady wave. Nothing our instruments can
MARY: Coming to the time.
PAULINE: Can I just ask you to, remind you, Mary, not to mention to him. Anything. Not try to – inquire. You must not. Immediate, of course, he goes straight back in. And who knows, that might
MARY: There might not be a time next time.
PAULINE: Quite.
MARY: I would always come back here every day, Pauline, at just this time, in case. Till he or I died.
PAULINE: Yes.
MARY: But it might be that next time is a longer time.
PAULINE: It might. It’s time. Any moment.When I get the. Can I remind you. If we are to hope for a reverse, or stasis. Well. Please do not.
MARY: I know.
PAULINE: He doesn’t
MARY: I know he doesn’t know.
PAULINE: That’s the. I’ll go.
MARY: Thankyou.
EXIT PAULINE. ENTER SIMON.
SIMON: Ah, Mary!
MARY: Hello, Simon!
SIMON: How have you been?
MARY: Well I have been fine.
SIMON: Good. Found your way ok?
MARY: Oh yes I know the way.
SIMON: It’s so good to see you.
MARY: It’s wonderful to see you, Simon.
SIMON: Are things alright?
MARY: Most things are alright, yes.
SIMON: You seem a bit sad.
MARY: I’m not sad at all. Well I am sad but I’m very glad to see you.
SIMON: Why are you sad?
MARY: Well I’m just sad that I don’t see you more often.
SIMON: Yes that is sad.
MARY: And that when I come it has to be for such a short time.
SIMON: Well at least you come sometimes.
MARY: Yes.
SIMON: For a bit.
MARY: Yes, Simon.
SIMON: You must love me.
MARY: I do. In fact.
SIMON: I’m so grateful to you for coming.
MARY: Are you sure, Simon?
SIMON: What do you mean?
MARY: Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to come a little less often – or not at all?
SIMON: Let me think about that, Mary.
MARY: Ok.
SIMON: No, I love you coming. I would be very happy if you were here all the time.
MARY: Oh!
SIMON: Ok?
MARY: Yes that’s ok with me. I can’t be – but – I mean – I’m ok that you want me to be. So when I go, when I leave you, Simon, do you find that you are thinking about me, when I am not here, are you, do you think and look forward to the next time I will come? Do you, Simon?
SIMON: I’m not sure. Can I –
MARY: Yes!
SIMON: Do I think about you when you are not here? In those times.
MARY: Yes, those times.
SIMON: Those times.
MARY:
SIMON: I don’t think that is allowed.
MARY: It is allowed, Simon, it is allowed.
SIMON: The times when you are not here.
MARY: Well don’t think about them too much, Simon, I am here now.
SIMON: Yes you are here now!
MARY: And I’m incredibly happy to hear that you would wish I would be here all the time. Perhaps next time I will come for longer.
SIMON: Could you?
MARY: I think Pauline is about to come and take you back now, she is in charge of how long I am here. But perhaps, next time, between us – you could persuade her - somehow – to let me stay for longer –
SIMON: I do not know – what I could – say to her –
MARY: Just encourage her maybe – to imagine – that it might be alright.
SIMON: There is not very much that I can say to Pauline.
MARY: Oh, I am sorry about that.
SIMON: It is very noisy here, Mary, when you are not here, it is very loud, mostly we do not speak to each other.
MARY: Oh I’m sorry about that, Simon –
SIMON: Mostly we crawl through this noise, you see –
MARY: I see –
SIMON: But sometimes we stand up on our feet –
MARY: That must be lovely!
SIMON: And then you come.
MARY: I always will, always, when you stand up!
SIMON: Well it is a pity
MARY: What?
SIMON: That we are not able to stand up more often.
MARY: Yes. Do you think you could – try?
SIMON: You would not – it is not very easy –
MARY: No.
SIMON: It is very difficult indeed.
MARY: Yes of course.
SIMON: But when we manage it – my God! Ha! The beauty of the sky!
MARY: Ha!
SIMON: The beauty of you, Mary!
MARY: Ha!
SIMON: The beauty of you. Your beauty.
MARY: I love you, Simon.
SIMON: You must do.
MARY: Pauline, I think, is coming any moment now.
SIMON: She cannot stand up very long. None of us can.
MARY: I will pray for you – for strength.
SIMON: It’s so slippery. The ground.
MARY: Yes. Pauline is coming.
SIMON: Of course.
MARY: These moments that I talk to you Simon, these brief times –
SIMON: Yes?
MARY: They are the brightest moments of my life.
SIMON: Yes.
MARY: They are like stars to me, Simon. Earthly stars.
SIMON: Come again as soon as you can.
ENTER PAULINE.
PAULINE: Alright? Time, I think.
SIMON: Let’s go then.
MARY: Goodbye, Simon.
SIMON: Goodbye, Mary.
EXEUNT PAULINE AND SIMON ONE WAY, MARY THE OTHER.
AT THE CLINIC
WOMAN AT DESK. MAN COMES IN.
WOMAN: Ah good morning, Mr –
MAN: Thomas.
WOMAN: Mr Tromas.
MAN: No, Mr Thomas.
WOMAN: Mr Tomkiss.
MAN: No, Mr Thomas.
WOMAN: How do you spell that?
MAN: T-H-O-M-A-S.
WOMAN: Alright, Mr Troomass.
MAN: No – Thomas.
WOMAN: Well it doesn’t really matter does it?
MAN: No it doesn’t.
WOMAN: So what have you come here today about? Mr T.
MAN: I want to talk about my garage.
WOMAN: You want to open a bank account.
MAN: No I want to talk about my garage.
WOMAN: You want to be interviewed for a position.
MAN: No, I want to talk about my garage.
WOMAN: You want to buy a horse?
MAN: No, I want to talk about my garage.
WOMAN: You want to know some facts and figures about the demography of the north east.
MAN: No.
WOMAN: Well what do you want?
MAN: I want to talk about my garage.
WOMAN: To the police?
MAN: No.
WOMAN: To a priest.
MAN: No.
WOMAN: To a telephonist?
MAN: No.
WOMAN: A mountaineer?
MAN: No.
WOMAN: A financial adviser?
MAN: No.
WOMAN: To whom then?
MAN: To you.
WOMAN: You want to talk to me about the mountains of New Guinea?
MAN: No, I don’t.
WOMAN: Mr Tomastillio, what exactly is it you have come here about?
MAN: I don’t know.
WOMAN: Well good, that’s exactly what I’m here for, Mr Toorastikovian. Look into my eyes. Now make a noise like a dead goose.
MAN:
WOMAN: Now we are going to talk about the hills of South Wales. We are going to mention the names of several small coastal towns like Porthcawl and Newport. Have you ever ventured across the Severn, Mr Trappihalvalionpastical? Have you dared yourself onto that aerial steel cat’s cradle, Mr Trooptroopavalsipotato? If you come to visit me again, which I hope you will, we will probably talk about Swansea. But we might not go that far straightaway. Goodbye, Mr T.
MAN: Goodbye.
End
ASIDE.
IN A GARDEN. MAUDE AND GERALD.
MAUDE: Look at the mountains! (ASIDE.) What a shrunken shrivelled little thing he is compared to the mountains!
GERALD: Look at the roses! (ASIDE.) My God, how pale she is compared to the roses!
MAUDE: (ASIDE.) My God, my God, if I could marry a mountain! Its broad defiles! Its giddying ridges!
GERALD: (ASIDE.) And how inwardly quiet they are compared to her. Every word she says is like slop slipping out of a pig’s mouth.
MAUDE: (ASIDE.) Its thickly wooded foothills.
GERALD: (ASIDE.) She sticks her snout into the trough of some concept, guzzles for awhile and then little rotten bits of thoughts spill out of her mouth. The roses on the other hand!
MAUDE: (ASIDE.) Its boulder-strewn snowy peaks, the haunt of eagles!
GERALD: (ASIDE.) If I was only married to a rose!
MAUDE: (ASIDE.) But then again – would a mountain want to take me in its arms? And even if it did, I would be ground to sand, I would roll down stunned into some gulley! Nothing would remain but the echoes of ravens. But if you are utterly honest, Maude, what mountain has ever shown the slightest interest in even engaging you in conversation? What are you, Maude, to a mountain? A parasitical insect. Oh, the loftiness of the mountains!
GERALD: (ASIDE.) But what would a rose want with me, a kind of uprooted ragwort wandering about! One fragrant glance would shatter me to bits. I am disgusting to the roses! A carcase hanging from the hook of my breath! I stink, to them, like an entire battlefield. I don’t think I have much chance with the roses.
PAUSE. THEY SLOWLY TURN AWAY FROM MOUNTAINS AND ROSES AND LOOK AT EACH OTHER FOR A LONG MOMENT.
MAUDE: My love, thank God for you!
GERALD: Thank God for you, my love!
END.
GREGORY
A CHURCH. PRIEST AND MOURNERS. COFFIN.
PRIEST: Dearly beloved, the passage of this life is brief and we pass through darkness into the light. Therefore let us together consider Gregory, whose life has come to an end. Gregory is no more. And this is no cause for alarm. This is a cause for rejoicing. Gregory has vanished out of this place and we are happy. Gladys.
PRIEST SITS DOWN. GLADYS GETS UP, A YOUNG WOMAN.
GLADYS: I was cycling beside the canal in Holland when the news came to me that Gregory is dead. For miles around the tulips stretched in red ranks. They were heavy and wet. Dawn had just passed, the sky leaned on a cloud, having with its bright spade buried the night. My heart felt like a tulip, heavy and wet and bright. Heavy with joy. With the exquisite bliss that Gregory was dead. Suddenly from the blank canal a porpoise raised its head up. I laughed out loud. I stopped my bicycle, I climbed off and let it drop and I danced for joy among the tulips.
SHE SITS DOWN.
PRIEST: Henry.
HENRY, AN OLD MAN, STANDS UP.
HENRY: I knew Gregory when he was a little boy. Even then I yearned for his death. My only sadness was to think I might not live long enough to see him under the earth. And indeed, I am very nearly dead myself. You might almost be gathered here to celebrate my death. But that would be premature, like eating unripe fruit or a cake not quite cooked! Wait, wait a bit, until I too am dead, and then you can rejoice! I did nothing to hasten Gregory's death. But even when he was a little lad I could see like everyone else that he had promise! A little too thin, a little too quick, like a sliver of ice! Just wait, just wait, I thought, till the sun warms up!
SITS DOWN.
PRIEST: Norman.
NORMAN STANDS UP.
NORMAN: As you know, Gregory and I were best friends. So as you can imagine, I am especially happy today, since Gregory is nailed up in pine boards. I feel like I've suddenly received an unexpected inheritance. I don't know how to spend it, my happiness, it is too much for one person! I just have to keep on repeating to myself over and over, as if giving away coins, the words, Gregory is dead, Gregory is dead! And yet it's like saying, I am the King of England. My wife is the Queen of France. My daughter is the wife of the King of Italy. And so on and so on. Gregory is gone and I am alone. No more walks together in the summer woods, keeping a measured pace and yet each racing the other to that place Gregory has reached first. I will walk alone, happy not to have to speak, simply saying to myself silently over and over again, Gregory is dead, Gregory is dead.
SITS DOWN.
PRIEST: Frank.
FRANK STANDS UP.
FRANK: I hardly knew Gregory and so I can't share in your joy at his death. I'm something of a skeleton at the feast! But I have come here to support Norman and to help him with his bliss. I have to say, this is an extraordinary occasion! I have been at other funerals, where folks were pretty jolly, but this one certainly is exceptional. I know that Gregory was not famous for anything much, so I can only suppose that he was an almost non-existent person. And that by dying he finally made something of himself! If only a corpse! And that is magnificent, it really is! It brings home to me more than anything the fact that every one of us, every one, no matter how talentless, inoffensive and bland, can still make a contribution, even if it is only his dead body! And that is what Gregory has done!
SITS DOWN.
PRIEST: Moira.
MOIRA STANDS.
MOIRA: What a tremendous death Gregory is having! How amazing that someone who was hardly alive can be so totally dead! Frank is absolutely right! Gregory was insignificant! Lynda, his mother,is not here today for the simple reason that she forgot to come! I saw her going down the shops, chatting away nineteen to the dozen. I said aren't you coming to Gregory's funeral? She said, Who's funeral? But Gregory was more insignificant to those close to him than to those who only knew him a little bit. To know him was to know how little there was to know. To us who loved him from afar there was still something. You could always imagine, when you did not see him, that he was doing something. Only his closest relatives and friends knew that he was doing nothing! And we only had their word for that! To us there is still this imaginary Gregory. But fantasy is fantasy, the mags are not the papers, and so it is the actual fact of Gregory's death that has filled us with such excitement, we who only knew him a little. Verily I say unto you, a star has blazed in our firmament. Though we could often forget that Gregory was alive, we will never forget that he is dead. We will not wonder anymore, with a faint faint hope, if he is up to anything. We know that he is not. He has achieved a definiteness we never thought he could, and that makes us very very happy.
SITS DOWN. MAUDE STANDS UP.
MAUDE: Well I am actually quite sad that Gregory is dead.
PRIEST, OTHERS: Sit down! Sit down! Shame!
MAUDE SITS DOWN.
PRIEST: It remains only for me to ask the simple question: is Gregory dead? And the answer is: definitely yes. But just to be even more certain, we will go out now together and bury him. We will heap up earth on Gregory, our champion, the first of all of us here to get where we are all going. Gregory, King of the Void! And then we will float home like butterflies, like kids out of school!
The one towards whom we were indifferent has gone!
EXEUNT ALL BUT PRIEST AND GLADYS.
GLADYS: I love you! Kiss me!
HE KISSES HER PASSIONATELY.
PRIEST: You have made me very happy!
GLADYS: Let us go out and bury Gregory!
EXEUNT.
HE KEEPS DYING
OLIVIA, ROBIN. SHE HAS A DEVICE.
OLIVIA: If you collapse again the doctor said –
ROBIN: Yes what did he say?
OLIVIA: If I can get to you in two minutes with the device.
ROBIN: Yes.
OLIVIA: You were dead.
ROBIN: Yes I was.
OLIVIA: This device can revive your heart –
ROBIN: Yes.
OLIVIA: It will work three times and then the heart will give out after that, unless you are exceptional. Maybe four times.
ROBIN: Alright.
OLIVIA: How do you feel?
ROBIN: I feel alright.
OLIVIA: Do you remember anything?
ROBIN: No I do not.
OLIVIA: I need to go out just for a minute, I need to go for a walk.
ROBIN: That’s fine.
OLIVIA: Do you think you are going to collapse again?
ROBIN: No definitely not.
OLIVIA: I’ll go out then. For one minute.
ROBIN: Longer.
OLIVIA: No. No, my love.
ROBIN: Alright. Have a nice walk.
EXIT OLIVIA. HE COLLAPSES. LIES THERE FOR THIRTY SECONDS. RE-ENTER OLIVIA.
OLIVIA: Oh God!
SHE APPLIES THE DEVICE. HE SHUDDERS AND JUMPS TO HIS FEET, SHOUTING.
ROBIN: HAHA!
HE SITS BACK DOWN, DAZED.
ROBIN: How have you been?
OLIVIA: I just went out for half a minute, I came back in and you had collapsed.
HE PACES UP AND DOWN LIKE A DETECTIVE.
ROBIN: I thought as much.
OLIVIA: What?
ROBIN: I thought as much!
OLIVIA: What do you mean?
ROBIN: I told them something like this would happen eventually.
OLIVIA: Told who?
ROBIN: Well. I told them. Something like this would happen. Eventually.
OLIVIA: I don’t know what you are talking about.
ROBIN: Oh. Well I feel much better now.
HE SITS DOWN.
OLIVIA: You look much weaker.
ROBIN: I am not weak. Watch.
HE GETS UP TO WALK, TAKES TWO STEPS, COLLAPSES.
OLIVIA: Oh God!
SHE APPLIES THE DEVICE. HE JUMPS UP SHOUTING.
ROBIN: HAHA!
OLIVIA: Sit down. Sit down.
HE SITS DOWN.
OLIVIA: I am going to call the hospital.
ROBIN: Don’t bother.
OLIVIA: What?
ROBIN: Don’t bother.
OLIVIA: Why?
ROBIN: It has been bombed.
OLIVIA: What?
ROBIN: It has been hit by a bomb.
OLIVIA: Really?
ROBIN: Direct hit. Straight down the – straight down the – ventilation shaft. Boom. Nurses everywhere – scattered for miles – in the trees –
OLIVIA: Stop it!
ROBIN: No point in phoning them.
OLIVIA: What nonsense. I am going to phone the special number immediately.
SHE PHONES.
OLIVIA: Hello. This is Olivia Cartwright. My husband Robin – yes that’s right. Yes he has twice. Thankyou very much, thankyou. (PUTS PHONE DOWN.) They are coming immediately.
ROBIN: They will never get here.
OLIVIA: Why not?
ROBIN: Asteroids have destroyed the road.
OLIVIA: That is not true, Robin.
ROBIN: Nothing is moving in this country, Olivia! Believe me!
OLIVIA: Calm down. They will be here very soon.
ROBIN: Alright. We will wait.
OLIVIA: Would you like a cup of tea.
ROBIN: No thanks.
OLIVIA: Are you sure?
ROBIN: Absolutely.
OLIVIA: Certain?
ROBIN: Alright.
OLIVIA: I wouldn’t absolutely refuse, myself.
EXIT. HE COLLAPSES. ONE MINUTE PASSES. SHE RE-ENTERS WITH TEA.
OLIVIA: Oh God!
SHE APPLIES THE DEVICE. NO RESPONSE. SHE PACES UP AND DOWN, WRINGING HER HANDS. SHE SITS DOWN AND DRINKS TEA, CRYING. SHE APPLIES DEVICE AGAIN. HE JUMPS UP SHOUTING.
ROBIN: HAHA!
OLIVIA: Robin!
ROBIN: What is it?
OLIVIA: You died again!
ROBIN: Ah.
OLIVIA: But the ambulance is rushing here.
ROBIN: Oh.
OLIVIA: That is three times.
ROBIN: Ah.
OLIVIA: It will not work again.
ROBIN: Oh.
OLIVIA: Unless you are exceptional. But the paramedics will – bring something else.
ROBIN: Ah.
OLIVIA: You will be in safe hands.
ROBIN: Do not let them touch you, Olivia.
OLIVIA: What?
ROBIN: Me, yes – it doesn’t matter – but you, no. I have been learned.
OLIVIA: Yes, Robin.
ROBIN: After I am gone you must lock all the doors and windows. You must never go out again. Do you understand? The very grass is diseased. The very leaves of the trees. The air itself is infectious! A mere glance at what was once ordinary and beautiful will swiftly drive you insane. Above all do not allow the sound of birdsong to enter your ears. Do you promise me this, Olivia?
OLIVIA: Certainly not.
ROBIN: My dear, sweet woman, for the love of life – do not tread upon stone!
OLIVIA: My dear sweet man, in memory of the man you once were, I refuse to enter into your delirium.
ROBIN: Listen to me, listen to me – Olivia! They will turn you into an animal –
THE DOORBELL RINGS. SHE EXITS. HE COLLAPSES. END.
BLIND
VALERIE, BLIND, SITTING IN A CHAIR, CRUMPLED UP, FACE DISTORTED. ENTER SIMON.
SIMON: Once upon a time there was a shoemaker’s daughter called Filomena.
VALERIE SLOWLY SITS UP STRAIGHT AS HE TALKS, SMILES, THOUGH SHE CAN’T SEE HIM.
SIMON: Her mother was very old. One day she said to her, Filomena, go to the market-garden and buy a cabbage. If the gardener’s not there, pick one yourself and leave the money on the ground for him.
VALERIE STANDS UP, STARTS TO DANCE VERY SLOWLY, SMILING.
SIMON: Leave the money on the ground for him, Filomena, if he’s not there. And Filomena went to the market garden, and the gardener wasn’t there, and she picked a cabbage and where the cabbage had been, she laid a coin in the ground.
EXIT SIMON. SILENCE. VALERIE STOPS, STANDS STILL, PUTS HER FINGERS TO HER EARS, STARTS TO WITHER, CRUMPLES SLOWLY TO THE GROUND. SAD MUSIC AS SHE LIES THERE. MUSIC BECOMES MORE LIVELY AND SHE STARTS TO CRAWL OVER THE GROUND, LOOKING FOR HER CHAIR. SHE FINDS IT EVENTUALLY AND CLIMBS BACK ONTO IT, ENCOURAGED BY THE MUSIC. SHE SLUMPS ON THE CHAIR, AS AT THE BEGINNING. ENTER SIMON.
SIMON: So he wrote to the King of Portugal, ‘I have read your letter, and I am full of admiration for the beautiful hand your secretary writes. In the name of the friendship between us, I beseech you to let me have him to be my secretary, since there is no one in Spain who writes so handsomely.
VALERIE SLOWLY SITS UP STRAIGHT AGAIN, SMILING.
SIMON: And call Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will shew thee what thou shalt do.
EXIT. VALERIE CRUMPLES. MUSIC PLAYS BUT HAS NO EFFECT ON HER. IT GOES SILENT. SHE SITS CRUMPLED FOR AWHILE. ENTER SIMON.
SIMON: Its notes are said to resemble the word cow, repeated eight or ten times, and the sexes are alike in colour, the adults having the upper parts of a glossy greenish-brown, with some reddish chestnut on the quill feathers of the wing and white tips to some of the tail feathers. The underparts are white. The upper part of the bill is blackish, the edge of the upper mandible and the whole of the lower except the tips bright yellow. The feet are slaty-grey.
VALERIE ROCKS AND CROONS, STROKING HER FACE. SIMON GOES OVER AND BLOWS ON HER FACE AND SHE LAUGHS A ND TOUCHES HER FACE. HE EXITS. MUSIC. SHE SITS UP VERY STRAIGHT, STARING AHEAD. SHE STANDS ON HER CHAIR, TO ATTENTION. THE MUSIC STOPS. SHE REACHES CAREFULLY ABOVE HERSELF AND ALL AROUND. SHE GETS DOWN FROM THE CHAIR AND STARTS TO SHUFFLE FORWARDS VERY CAREFULLY. ENTER SIMON, VERY WORN OUT.
SIMON: As Patroklos went down before the Trojans in the hard fighting, he was not unseen by Atreus’ son, warlike Menelaos, who stalked through the ranks of the champions, helmed in the bright bronze, and bestrode the body, as over a first-born calf the mother cow stands lowing, she who has known no children before this.
HE SITS DOWN IN THE CHAIR, WEARILY. MUSIC. SHE WALKS VERY CAUTIOUSLY OVER TO HIM. HE GETS UP SO THAT SHE CAN SIT DOWN. HE STANDS LOOKING AT HER FOR AWHILE, AS THE MUSIC PLAYS. THEN HE GOES OUT. VERY SLOWLY SHE CRUMPLES AGAIN. MUSIC PLAYS, BUT HAS NO EFFECT. ENTER SIMON, EVEN MORE WEARY.
SIMON: This species dislikes sunlight and selects for its retreat by day or for its nesting place some dark recess in the walls or under the roof of old buildings, church towers, or in hollow trees, while dovecots are often chosen.
VALERIE DOES NOT RESPOND.
SIMON: This species dislikes sunlight.
VALERIE STARTS TO STRAIGHTEN AND SMILE.
SIMON: And selects for its retreat by day or for its nesting-place some dark recess in the walls or under the roof of old buildings, church towers, or in hollow trees, while dovecots are often chosen. For several years in succession a pair occupied a dovecot in my garden, and it was evident that what they most appreciated in their home was to have as little light as possible.
VALERIE STANDS UP, SMILING.HE RUSHES OUT. MUSIC. SHE CIRCLEDS HER CHAIR, BRIGHTLY SMILING. MUSIC STOPS. SHE SINKS TO THE FLOOR, FOR A LONG TIME. MUSIC STARTS AGAIN, WITHOUT EFFECT. ENTER SIMON STRAIGHT TO CHAIR, COLLAPSES INTO IT.
SIMON: O man, take a sharp sword, and use it like a razor to shave your head and your chin. Then take scales and divide the hair into three lots. When the siege comes to an end, burn one third of the hair in a fire in the centre of the city: cut up one third with the sword round about the city; scatter the last third to the wind, and I shall follow it with drawn sword. Take a few of those hairs and tie them up in a fold of your robe. Then take others, throw them into the fire and burn them.
EXIT. VALERIE SITS UP VERY SLOWLY ON THE FLOOR, FEELING HER HEAD. MUSIC STARTS. SHE CARRIES ON FEELING HER HEAD AS IF IT’S HURT. MUSIC STOPS. ENTER SIMON. HE STANDS VERY STIFFLY, RECITING.
SIMON:
Her father dragged her to the stake,
O my love, o my love,
Her father dragged her to the stake,
O my love so early,
Her father dragged her to the stake,
Her mother then a fire did make,
For she was to be burnt in Nottingham,
Not far from Nottinghamshire.
EXIT. SHE DRAGS HERSELF SLOWLY TO THE CHAIR AND SITS ON IT AS AT THE BEGINNING. ENTER SIMON.
SIMON:
Dear Lizbie Browne,
Where are you now?
In sun, in rain?
Or is your brow
Past joy, past pain,
Dear Lizbie Browne?
Sweet Lisbie Browne,
How you could smile,
How you could sing!
How archly wile
In glance-giving,
Sweet Lizbie Browne!
SHE SMILES BRIGHTLY. HE EXITS. MUSIC AS SHE LAPSES AGAIN AS AT THE BEGINNING.